It’s one of those typical Monday evenings somewhere in Los Angeles. The only thing people on the streets of LA are thinking of is: “How to get home, without getting shot, without taking the risk to take the bus and without having to wait for hours to get back home by car?!” Well good question but no answer yet – at least no answer that would solve this problem.
Finally, two more feet closer to home. Ok, that’s it for the next hour. What to do now, listening to the radio? Yeah why not.
“Damn! I really hate this traffic jam.” That’s supposed to be a bloody joke, right?! Even the radio jokes about my misery. Why on earth is our world so cruel? Well, life’s full of small challenges but why has it to be now, here and most of all, why do I have to be involved? I just want to get back home from work, is that really that impossible? Never mind. No, NOT never mind! I should stop being that patient. Well for sure, I could wait patiently to escape from this damn traffic jam. (Oh .. my… goodness, now I even start rhyming?) But just because I was patient, I got into this “ever so nice” traffic jam. Why? Because I waited patiently, for a spot in the elevator in my office. If I had taken the stairs, I would have been about half an hour earlier in the parking lot. I wouldn’t have crashed into this freak with his damn slowcoach and I wouldn’t have gotten right into this traffic jam.
I need to be more energetic! Ok, as for now, I’m no more patient, now I’m energetic! An energetic Sera. Hell, move on buddy! Yeah, I know it’s pointless to scream at all others and to honk, but as I have already mentioned I won’t be patient anymore.
I think as soon as I’m at home, I’ll pack my bags and move to a small hicksville. Somewhere like, St. Olaf in Minnesota. Yeah, great idea. Far away from all the trouble, traffic and civilization. The only thing I’d need would be a McDonalds. But the question is, when will I get home? In about 11 hours? Never mind. I’ll move out anyways. Immediately. No one can stop me! Even not … oh, shit, “your last thought is going down, NOW”. I totally forgot about my girlfriend. She’d be really mad at me. First of all because I’m too late and totally forgot about our anniversary. I even don’t have a present for her. Ok CJ, you thought you will die because of the traffic jam and all fumes? Nope, you lucky thing. You will die because of your girl and your weak mind. Why do I always have to forget things like anniversaries, birthdays and wedding days? Maybe because I, the operative word is I, have to spend our closing time stuck in traffic jams. Bruce Lee would roundhouse-kick the whole thing. Muhahahaaa.
10 hours and 59 minutes later ….
No way, Im home. Finally! Thanks, God. I guess you have finally heard my prayers, well except for the 9 hours: “Please hold the line, God is busy with prayers of other traffic jam escapees, please try later again!”.
I never thought it could ever take me that frigging long to get back home. That’s a new record! Almost 11 hours for six blocks. Who else than me, could manage something stupid like that. Six blocks in 11 hours. Ok now, let’s go in, I need to replenish my caffeine and nicotine reserves.
Wait. WHAT!? Are you FU**ing… no no no no no. Where the hell… is.. my key?! No way, I left it in the office. Why?! Why do you hate me so much?! Ahhhhhh….